The recent spate of spoof / parody movies have been financially profitable for the studios and producers behind them, but, quality wise, they haven’t exactly been, well, good.. Or even all that funny.. The days of Airplane! and The Naked Gun and “Hot Shots! are long gone.. Instead, the movie world is given Date Movie, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, The Comebacks, among others.. The Scary Movie franchise, helmed by the great Keenan Ivory Wayans twice, then by the equally great ( not to mention legendary ) David Zucker twice, has been the only one worth watching ( sure, they’re not classics, but they hit more than they miss ).. Superhero Movie, produced by Zucker and written and directed by Craig Mazin, falls into the Scary Movie category in that it’s not great, or all that good, but watchable..

Rated: [ M ] Moderate sexual references, Infrequent moderate coarse language

Cinema release: 10th April 2008

Running time: 85 minutes

Stars: Sara Paxton, Drake Bell, Leslie Nielsen

There really isn’t much of a point in reviewing a spoof flick like Superhero Movie, which is probably why studios don’t offer advance screenings to critics most of the time.. At one time parodies were well crafted and pointed out the flaws and foibles of a genre.. Now screenwriters are content to take the entire story from one movie, add in a bunch of body humor jokes, and call it a day.. If you’ve liked the spoof movies that came before, you’ll probably get your yuks from Superhero Movie, otherwise it’s best to just steer clear..

Ninety percent of Superhero Movie comes from the Spider - Man movie.. Seriously, almost the whole focus is a five - year old superhero flick? The spoof doesn’t even touch on the two sequels, which is a shame; the third chapter seems ripe for the spoofing.. Instead this is pure Spider - Man, with one brief scene giving the main character, Rick Riker, the background of Bruce Wayne in Batman Begins, and another brief sequence in an X - Men mansion setting.. Towards the end of the picture, when the climax of Spider - Man didn’t work for Superhero Movie ( I’m betting it was too costly to reproduce ), the story shifts to something almost move for move like producer David Zucker’s The Naked Gun, right down to sending a handicapped figure barreling over a ledge.. I don’t understand why writer / director Craig Mazin approached this with such a limited focus, when there are tons of superhero movies out there, many of which deserve this kind of treatment..

In the spoof, Drake Bell plays Rick Riker.. It didn’t surprise me to see that Bell spent time working with Amanda Bynes, since his similarly overdone reactions provide many of the movie’s punchlines.. Like Peter Parker, Rick is the school geek, a photographer for the paper, and in love with an unattainable beauty, here played by Sara Paxton who does one hell of a Kirsten Dunst impersonation.. Instead of a spider, Rick is bitten by a genetically enhanced dragonfly, turning him into a superhero and forcing him to learn that with great power comes a lot of jokes about bodily functions, but that’s fine because one day he’ll learn to embrace his power and fly.. If you’ve seen Spider - Man, you know how that works out for him..

Based on the ad campaign I could tell going in that there would be a great deal of scatological humor, so I figured I’d give a count of how many jokes the movie crammed into its merciful short running time that dealt with body waste, sex organs, or the other staples of “ dick and fart joke ” movies.. I lost count when, five minutes in, Riker interacts with a compound that makes all the nearby animals ( in a science lab ) horny for him.. Needless to say, that set the tempo for the rest of the movie.. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not completely against dick and fart jokes, when they’re part of something bigger, like the way Kevin Smith or Judd Apatow use them.. When they provide the sole intent of the movie, I have to wonder if there’s something better that can be done with that time..

Special mention should be made to the flick’s opening theme.. I think it’s sad that a superhero spoof movie has a better opening theme than most serious superhero movies.. Listen to that opening music.. It’s inspiring..

So, how could one improve this movie, or really any, of the recent parody movies? I don’t really know.. It seems as though the makers of these movies just try to fit in as many references to other recent movies as possible, without thinking why ahead of time.. Maybe they should make the parody aspects less obvious, less on the nose, and just focus more on the general goofiness of the proposed story.. Again, I really don’t know..

Superhero Movie isn’t as bad it could have been.. It’s worth a look, probably more worth a look on DVD than in the theatre.. But, yeah, it has its moments.. It’s funny sometimes..

So what do we have here? A cool soundtrack, a costumed herp checking himself out with a flashlight, running into a school bus stop sign, rear view mirror, and door, gratuitous black guy with multiple communication gadgets, a nose hair trimmer, gratuitous school cliques, a flaming bird, flash photography, hacking up blood, being pushed into dung, gratuitous horny animals including a snail, gratuitous Marion Ross, gratuitous Leslie Nielson, vomiting into a fish tank, drinking a beer, gratuitous Brent Spiner, gratuitous Dan Castellaneta, dead old people, gratuitous Leslie Nielson farting, gratuitous Google, gratuitous Ted Striker as a KKK member, hot chick wearing two bras, gratutious fat guy man boob fondling, ripping a drinking fountain out of the wall, ripping a fat guy’s clothes off, boob touching, gratuitous Stephen Hawking parody, break dancing on a wall, old woman in a wood chipper, nail catching, gratuitous Batman Begins parody, a dog drinking booze, a mugging, an electrified fence, more flaming birds, a ” 1983 Nissan shitbox,” ” 2 girls, 1 cup,” gratuitous Tracy Morgan, gratuitous Kurt Fuller, a dancing monkey, gratuitous Jeffrey Tambor, Wolverine shaving his legs, decapitation via sneezing, riding a motorized toilet, gratuitous Pam Anderson, costume designing, beating a man with a fire extinguisher, gratuitous Tom Cruise on youtube parody, gratuitous John Getz, gratuitous Keith David, arm breaking, multiple head smashings, the ” upside down ” kiss, erect nipples, ” Death Machine Maker: Home Version,” stuffing a turkey, urinating after drinking a Big Gulp, urinating from the ceiling, giant fork through the top of the hand, banging a dead body, wacky waving inflatable tube man sex, putting vanilla icing in a bong, smelling a dinner roll, ” Douchebag of the Year ” ( one of the greatest songs of all time ), Nelson Mandela attacking Desmond Tutu, gratuitous comic book convention, a dick bomb, and being pushed off the top of a building..

Paramount Pictures have released the first two photos of Ray Park in full garb as Snake Eyes in the Stephen Sommers - directed film G.I. Joe, based on the Hasbro toy line.. The photo below is not CGI, that is an actual photo of the costume that Ray wears in the movie.. We confirmed directly with Paramount that this is 100% real.. There is also a photo we were sent a while back but never got around to posting it of Dennis Quaid in costume as General Hawk..

Stephen Sommers ( Director ) spoke about the character Snake Eyes..

” Snake Eyes, is the world’s greatest ninja, but he’s also next - generation. He’s not afraid to use a sword one second, and a split - second later he’s pulling out his Glock.. His chief nemesis is arguably the world’s other great ninja, Storm Shadow.. The two grew up together, were blood brothers and now are mortal enemies..”

The movie will be a modern telling of the ” G.I. Joe vs. Cobra ” storyline and its compelling characters that Hasbro created 25 years ago.. The premise of this fantasy is the story of the G.I. Joe team, led by Duke, and their “ fight for freedom wherever there is trouble ” against the evil Cobra Commander and his Cobra force.. The film is an origin story and Sommers says he plans to explain various strange aspects - from Destro’s metal mask to Snake Eyes’ lack of speech..

Here’s the official plot synopsis for the G.I. Joe movie..

From the Egyptian desert to deep below the polar ice caps, the elite co - ed G.I. JOE team, based from it’s headquarters The Pit, deploys the latest in next - gen spy and military equipment to fight crooked arms dealer Destro and the growing threat of the mysterious COBRA organization from plunging the world into chaos..

Larry Hama, the man behind the myth that is G.I. Joe sent these pictures over, which isn’t a grab from the film but an actual publicity shot of Ray Parks in costume.. And buried somewhere under all that is Ray Park, who is a real Phantom of the Opera when it comes to his onscreen work..

Snake Eyes is a mysterious character with little known about his background or identity, beyond that he holds the rank of U.S. Army Sergeant First Class ( E - 7 ).. Hasbro has released over 30 different versions of the character since its original debut in 1982.. The ” ninja master ” is known for his stealth like movements and extensive knowledge of multiple forms of martial arts, and is usually always masked and wearing complete black.. You can see an example of Snake Eyes from the action figure line to the right for comparison..

Snake Eyes is being played by Ray Park, known for his performances as the acrobatic Darth Maul ( Star Wars: Episode I ) and Toad in the first X - Men.. He is in a way like Andy Serkis ( Gollum, King Kong ) or Doug Jones ( Abe Sapien, Silver Surfer ), who best perform physically and beneath a costume.. The reason why he’s always cast for these kind of roles is because he holds a second degree black belt in Wushu and came in second place at the 1995 world championships..

As a cartoon, action figure and comic book property second perhaps only to Transformers, G.I. Joe has endured for decades now as a mainstay of many a moviegoer’s childhood.. Whether marveling over Duke’s heroism, Scarlett’s hotness or Snake Eyes’ enigmatic silence, audiences have embraced the property long beyond its tenure in toy boxes and TV sets around the world.. Appropriately, Hollywood decided last year to develop a film based on G.I. Joe, and much like Michael Bay’s Transformers before it, speculation as to how the series would be adapted quickly reached a fever pitch..

The cast includes Dennis Quaid ( General Hawk ), Channing Tatum ( Duke Hauser ), Arnold Vosloo ( Zartan ), Chris Eccleston ( Destro ), Karolína Isela Kurková ( Cover Girl ), Sienna Miller ( The Baroness ), Ray Park ( Snake Eyes ), Rachel Nichols ( Scarlett ), Adewale Akinnuoye - Agbaje ( Heavy Duty ), Said Taghmaoui ( Breaker ), Marlon Wayans ( Ripcord ), Joseph Gordon - Levitt ( Rex ) and Byung - hun Lee ( Storm Shadow )..

The live action G.I. Joe film is being directed by Stephen Sommers ( Deep Rising, The Mummy, Van Helsing )  and written by both Stuart Beattie and Skip Woods.. G.I. Joe is set to be released 7th August 2009..

Last month Paramount released photos of Snake Eyes, earlier this week they released our first look at Scarlett, and now we have exclusive first look at the cast of Stephen Sommers’ G.I. Joe: Channing Tatum as Duke, Karolina Korkova as Cover Girl, Marlon Wayans as Ripcord, Byung - hun Lee as Storm Shadow, Sienna Miller as The Baroness, and Dennis Quaid as Hawk..

Fans were thrilled a month ago when we got our first look at Ray Parks in his Snake Eyes costume from G.I. Joe, and they should be just as happy to see this first shot of Rachel Nichols as Scarlett.. Paramount Pictures brings us the picture of Ms. Nichols as the G.I. Joe team’s fiery - headed Counter - Intelligence specialist.. Scarlett is one of the primary characters in the G.I. Joe series, and has been romantically linked to Snake Eyes in several versions of the story.. She is capable with all modern weapons, but Scarlett’s weapon of choice is a specialized crossbow capable of firing trick bolts.. Lately, there has been a lot of hate directed towards Paramount’s live - action G.I. Joe film..

As you can see, a huge batch of unfinished unpolished character photos leaked onto the web last week which were deemed disappointing, especially after the official photo releases of Scarlet and Snake Eyes.. So we thought we’d take a look at five cool nanotechnology elements we hear might be in the upcoming movie which are sure to get you a little excited..

Accelerator Suits: The G.I. Joe squad wear suits which enable them to run faster, jump huge distances, smash through walls, and withstand bullets..

A Nano - Bomb: The Cobra Commander has an evil plan to launch a nano - bomb.. The scientifically created bomb consists of a swarm of microscopic machines that eat and destroy everything that isn’t organic.. Basically, all machinery, weapons, and buildings would be left in the dust.. Actually, I’m not even sure there would be dust.. But if the Cobra Commander is such an evil super villain, why have the nanites stop at the human level? Why not just have them eat everything? My guess is that if they eat through organic material, the nanites might continue to eat through the earth like termites until it doesn’t exist anymore.. The fact that Cobra Commander realized this risk shows that he is probably very intelligent..

Destro’s Mask: A swarm of nano - mites coat McCullen’s disfigured face, giving him the iconic metallic mask, which allows the Cobra Commamder to control his mind.. In the original mythology, the Commander, with the help of Cobra scientist Mindbender, used mind control to bend Destro, the Baroness, Zartan and Billy to his will, giving Cobra a new high command.. Neo - Vipers: Destro controls a legion of super - soldiers which have been enhanced by nano - tech to allow them not to feel pain or remorse.. How cool is that? Check out a photo of these guys pictured above from the old action figure line.. A whole troop of these things could be really really bad ass..

Invisibility: Scarlett supposedly has a gadget which allows her to become invisible for stealth missions.. Don’t let the Fantastic Four vibe scare you away, I’m sure this will lead to a kick ass battle sequence.. In 2005, Hasbro released a line of G.I. Joe figures called Sigma 6 which included a Strike Team with Invisible Camo..

Now imagine a war movie like you’ve never seen before. A cross between X - Men, Saving Private Ryan and Robert A. Heinlein’s novel Starship Troopers.. This is what G.I. Joe has the potential to be.. The movie will be a modern telling of the ” G.I. Joe vs. Cobra ” storyline and its compelling characters that Hasbro created 25 years ago.. The premise of this fantasy is the story of the G.I. Joe team, led by Duke, and their ” fight for freedom wherever there is trouble ” against the evil Cobra Commander and his Cobra force..

In recent casting, Brendan Fraser has filmed a cameo appearance for G.I. Joe.. Fraser plays Gung Ho, a Village People - looking soldier from the toyline, during a training sequence in The Pit..

Dwayne ‘ The Rock ‘ Johnson, apparently been offered the role of the Latino Navy SEAL named Hector Delgado aka Shipwreck.. Dwayne Johnson hasn’t said either yes or no, but the offer is out to him..

Rapper Common ( Lonnie Rashid Lynn Jr.) has been offered the part of Road Block in the G.I. Joe movie, but nothing has been solidified yet.. Could this mean we will see Road Block in the Live Action G.I. Joe Film after all? Only time will tell..

Kevin J. O’Connor has a really small part - a cameo, in fact - in a flashback scene.. He will be a scientist.. O’Connor has already filmed his bit, and he says that other Sommers regulars may be appearing as well. When I say the cameo is small, I mean it - O’Connor said he wondered why they would have him in for such a quick bit of business, but then he compared it to the Bruce Campbell cameos in the Spider - Man movies..

In nerdy news, Hummer HX will be used in the upcoming film.. The HX is a compact two - door, four - passenger, open - air, extreme off-road capable concept.. HX features a reconfigurable rear compartment that can transform from slant back to SUT to square back, any of which can be open air or fully enclosed.. This will be one of the many GM vehicles to be used in the film and will be known as the Cougar ( Patrol Vehicle ) or the Grizzly ( Armored Truck ).. For more pics of this Ultimate Hummer Click Here..

The G.I. Joe movie is being referred to as ” a cross between X-Men, Saving Private Ryan and Starship Troopers..” The real reason I’m excited for it: I have a good feeling that G.I. Joe is going to be as badass ( or more ) than Transformers.. Paramount is kicking it up a notch with this one and Stephen Sommers and crew are really going all out.. I’ve been excited from the start and now these tidbits have gotten me even more revved up.. I don’t know how you can hear about accelerator suits, nanotechnology, and epic battles and not be excited for this movie?

Written by Stuart Beattie ( 30 Days of Night, the Pirates of the Caribbean trilogy ), the ensemble cast is led by Dennis Quaid as grizzled team leader Hawk and Channing Tatum as top soldier Duke Hauser.. Rounding out the team are Marlon Wayans as Ripcord, Rachel Nichols as hand - to - hand combat and counterintelligence expert Scarlett, Akinnuoye - Agbaje as ordinance expert Heavy Duty, Said Taghmaoui as communications specialist Breaker, Ray Park as mute ninja Snake Eyes and Sienna Miller as a spy known as The Baroness.. Stephen Sommers, who directed the Universal monster movies The Mummy, The Mummy Returns and Van Helsing, is directing and producing G.I. Joe with producing partner Bob Duscay. Fresh from his success with DreamWorks/Paramount’s adaptation of Hasbro’s Transformers brand, Lorenzo di Bonaventura is also producing with Hasbro’s Brian Goldner. G.I. Joe is set to be released 7th August 2009..

Discuss: What do you guys think?

Update:

Seven people were injured Saturday during filming of G.I. Joe in the center of Prague..

A collision took place as an all - wheel - drive vehicle seemed to lose control of its braking abilities and smash into the a bus and several cars.,

Thankfully the location was a closed area that was rented out to the filmmakers for the weekend..

The injured were treated in hospitals in the Czech capital, and injuries were only ” slight..”

High School Musical 3: Senior Year finds high school seniors Troy and Gabriella facing the prospect of separation as they head off to different colleges..

Joined by the rest of the Wildcats, they stage an elaborate spring musical reflecting their experiences, hopes and fears about the future..

With incredible new music and exciting dance numbers designed to take maximum advantage of the big screen, this motion picture extravaganza delivers plenty of high - energy entertainment from East High’s talented ensemble..

Principal photography kicks off the 3rd May 2008 on Walt Disney Pictures’ upcoming theatrical production High School Musical 3: Senior Year.. The all - new feature film will be shot on location in Salt Lake City, Utah, and is set for release in theaters 24th October 2008..  Walt Disney Studios Motion Pictures distributes..

In other news, a list of the most stylish teen stars has been compiled and it looks like the young power couple of Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens have both made the proverbial cut..

Perhaps some good natured ribbing of High School Musical 3 costar Ashley Tisdale is in order..

” High School Musical star 19 - year - old Vanessa Hudgens’ recipe for red carpet success is pairing simple hair and makeup with uber glam gowns.. Case in point? Her loose waves and gold sequin Marc Bouwer cocktail dress at the 2007 American Music Awards,” raved Stylelist.com.

Her look can be found here..

As for her costar, the website is fully aware that he’s not actually a teen at all..

“ Yes, Zac Efron turned 20 this year, but we just can’t get it through our thick heads!” explained Stylelist..” Wearing a perfectly tailored suit and skinny tie at this year’s SAG Awards, the star looks poised to steal George Clooney’s title as king of the red carpet..”

His aforementioned style can be found here..

The Incredible Hulk kicks off an all - new, explosive and action - packed epic of one of the most popular superheroes of all time.. In this new beginning, scientist Bruce Banner ( Edward Norton ) desperately hunts for a cure to the gamma radiation that poisoned his cells and unleashes the unbridled force of rage within him: The Hulk..

Living in the shadows - cut off from a life he knew and the woman he loves, Betty Ross ( Liv Tyler ) - Banner struggles to avoid the obsessive pursuit of his nemesis, General Thunderbolt Ross ( William Hurt ), and the military machinery that seeks to capture him and brutally exploit his power..

As all three grapple with the secrets that led to The Hulk’s creation, they are confronted with a monstrous new adversary known as The Abomination ( Tim Roth ), whose destructive strength exceeds even The Hulk’s own.. And on the 13th June 2008, one scientist must make an agonizing final choice: accept a peaceful life as Bruce Banner or find heroism in the creature he holds inside - The Incredible Hulk..

The next few days will see Iron Man clang around for box office records.. So, just under the wire, Universal tried to steal a little bit of that fellow Avenger’s thunder by tossing out new pictures and a new trailer for The Incredible Hulk..

The Incredible Hulk will be released in theaters on 13th June 2008..